Check that Pen!

ESPN is reporting that Houston running back JT Olson has come to terms with the team, signing a three-year deal for $12 million. "I'm really happy with the contract," claims JT, "and I'm looking forward to holding out next year for a new contract after winning the rushing title." Yo Texas, check JT's pen to make sure it wasn't filled with disappearing ink!

A Cheesy Monument

Green Bay native Jeff Miller loves Packers QB Todd Rodgers. And he loves the Packers. And he loves cheese. So what could be more natural than carving a life-size statue of his beloved player in a huge block of gouda? Speaking of natural, Jeff's wife is starting to complain about the natural odor of the monument. "I suppose I'll have to give it up," sighs Jeff. For his next creation, Jeff can do the entire porous GB defense ... in swiss cheese; or he can simply do a statue of beleagured GB defense back Chris Conners in toast.

Jenkins on Ice

Retired b-baller Dennis Jenkins announced today that he has signed a contract with "Long Sleep" to have his body frozen before death, to be revived only when medical science has discovered a cure to the aging process. "Lots of guys get frozen for cancer and stuff, " explains the always-entertaining Jenkins, "I just want to return once they can give me back my eternal youth.[sic]" Perhaps Jenkins is also hoping medical science can cure his free-throw shooting - 47% and falling during his last year in the league.

A reader tells us that Jenkins may not be aware that part of the process of "Long Sleep" is to remove the head, keeping only the brain to be revived. This would be a problem for Jenkins since he would be left with his least-valuable asset.

---

Posted: 8/10/2012 @11:39 am Comments (39) Trackback (1)